Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·2 days agoMember-onlyHow to Not Give Birth at a FuneralCoping with my grandad’s death during my surrogate pregnancy — During the month when I expected to give birth, my plan was lots of quiet, relaxing, oxytocin-inducing activities and staying close to home. However, my grandad, unfortunately, passed away at the start of the month. His funeral was scheduled for a few weeks later, just 4 days before my due…Surrogacy5 min readSurrogacy5 min read
Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·Jan 13Member-onlyThe Third TrimesterCoping with the last few weeks of pregnancy as a surrogate — My second trimester felt very easy and I was still able to do lots of the things I would have done without the pregnancy impacting my life too much, most notably camping for three nights at a music festival (where I loaned my camping chair to someone who was 7-months…Surrogacy3 min readSurrogacy3 min read
Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·Dec 30, 2022Member-onlyPlanning a Home BirthGoing from fearing birth to being excited to give birth as a surrogate — When I read my thoughts on birth from before I got pregnant, I don’t recognise the person writing them at all. I describe childbirth as “difficult and painful” and focus on “the fear and the pain and the mess”. Most notably, I conclude that “I still think I want a…Birth5 min readBirth5 min read
Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·Dec 16, 2022Member-onlyThe Secret (In)fertilityThe connection I’ve found through becoming a surrogate — When I became pregnant as a surrogate, I expected the experience to bring me close to the intended parents, and maybe even closer to my partner. However, I didn’t expect that I would end up connecting with far more people about their journeys to parenthood. In order to prepare to…Surrogacy3 min readSurrogacy3 min read
Published in Polyamory Today·Jul 23, 2022Member-onlyPolyamory and Pregnancy: How I Navigated Polyamory as a SurrogatePolyamory brought many benefits and challenges during my pregnancy — For the last seven years, I have been practising polyamory and, for the previous seven months, I’ve also been pregnant. However, I’m not pregnant with the baby of anyone that I’m dating or dated, it’s not even mine: I’m a surrogate carrying a baby for some friends. When I decided…Polyamory4 min readPolyamory4 min read
Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·Jul 22, 2022Member-onlyMy Pregnant Exercise RoutineI know I’m supposed to keep active during pregnancy, but how? — All the official advice about exercise is that pregnant people should continue moving their bodies as much as they can and that keeping active during pregnancy leads to all sorts of health benefits, from fewer pregnancy complications to quicker births. However, that’s easier said than done. Before I got pregnant…Pregnancy6 min readPregnancy6 min read
Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·Jul 8, 2022Member-onlyScans as a SurrogateWhat happened at the antenatal scans for the baby I’m carrying? — As their surrogate, I witness an intimate event in my intended parent’s life: the scans of their first-born child. So far, we have attended three antenatal scans together and watched their baby grow from the size of a blueberry to the size of a large banana (and the baby is…Surrogacy10 min readSurrogacy10 min read
Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·Jun 24, 2022Member-only“Are You Going to Be a Surrogate Again?”Thinking about carrying another surrogate pregnancy while I’m still pregnant with the first — I went into surrogacy thinking it was a “one and done” for me. I wanted the experience of pregnancy and when I’d had that I couldn’t imagine wanting to do it again. However, once I learnt more about surrogacy, I discovered that, apparently, it can be quite addictive. In the…Surrogacy5 min readSurrogacy5 min read
Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·Jun 17, 2022Member-onlyCoping with Morning SicknessTips and tricks that got me through a queasy first trimester — CW: extended discussion of nausea and reference to vomiting I’ve never been pregnant before so, when I was deciding to become a surrogate, I had to decide whether the risk of morning sickness was something I was willing to accept. I decided that it was, but I also optimistically thought…Pregnancy4 min readPregnancy4 min read
Published in Kim’s Surrogacy Journey·May 27, 2022Member-onlyTaking a Pregnancy Test as a SurrogateI’ve never wanted to see two lines on a pregnancy test before — As a surrogate, it’s sometimes hard to know which words are the right ones to use. Hospital and legal forms refer to me as the ‘mother’ but I know that’s definitely not right. I’m not sure whether I am ‘expecting’ because I’m not sure what that means we’re expecting to…Pregnancy4 min readPregnancy4 min read
